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It seems like every week famous men, men on the internet and men we know in real life, end up doing something to reiterate the “men are trash” trope. Granted, it’s usually a very small minority of the public ruining it for everyone, but they do a pretty good job of smashing everything in the metaphorical china shop with their actions.

First up in the men-who-have-no-respect-for-women line-up? Sebastian Bear-McLard, Emily Ratajkowski’s soon-to-be ex-husband. Four years after they tied the knot in an uber-chic City Hall ceremony, it’s emerged that Bear-McClard allegedly cheated on EmRata. Multiple times. 

Rumours began swirling earlier last week when, on July 15, a source close to the model claimed that she planned to file for divorce as a result of infidelity. “Yeah, he cheated,” the source told Page Six . “He’s a serial cheater. It’s gross. He’s a dog.” Around the same time, Ratajkowski was spotted out and about, sans wedding ring – it was also noticeably missing from recent Instagram posts. 

On July 18, another source told People that the couple was going their separate ways. “They split recently. It was Em’s decision. She is doing ok. She is strong and focused on her son. She loves being a mom,” the insider said, claiming that the model will indeed be filing for divorce. 

The duo’s whirlwind courtship began back in 2018, when they wed just two weeks after going public with their romance. Many assumed that things would fizzle out given how quickly they had gotten together, but the couple had actually been friends for quite a while by that point. “We knew each other for a long time before and he likes to joke, ‘Yeah, everyone thinks we got married quickly, but you vetted me for two years’,” Em told Busy Tonight at the time. 

Sebastian first proposed at a restaurant without a ring – a proposition which Emily politely declined. “He proposed to me at Minetta Tavern, and he didn’t have a ring so I was like, ‘Mmm, nah,’” she told Jimmy Fallon. “And then he took the paper clip that the bill was paid with and made me a ring, which I actually thought was really romantic.” 

Gawker reports that the next time Bear-McClard was in the news, he was dodging $160,000 in rent on his Bleecker Street loft by claiming he was a struggling artist. In 2019, The New York Post reported that Bear-McClard filed a “worthless application” to register his $4,200-a-month unit under the city’s Loft Law and stopped paying rent. Ratajkowski defended him in a series of since-deleted tweets, writing, “I’m proud he’s fighting the good fight against a real estate conglomerate that bought the building he lives in for 40 million and has continued to spread misinformation on its tenants in order to profit.”

The building owner eventually paid Bear-McClard and Ratajkowski an unknown sum to leave the apartment. They subsequently bought a $2 million house in LA, and Ratajkowski gave birth to the couple’s first child, Sylvester Apollo Bear, in March 2021.

So, not only did Emily birth Sylvester’s child but she also publicly defended him when the internet wanted blood. 

While the rumours that Bear-McLard cheated are yet unsubstantiated, the cultural response has been interesting, to say the least. Largely met with shock, horror and complete outrage, the general consensus seems to be; if Em Rata got cheated on, then there’s no hope for the rest of us. “I’m sorry but who the f*ck is Em Ratajkowski’s husband cheating with? Imagine having the kind of confidence to think you could do better than Em Ratajkowski. This is why we need to bully men more,” one person tweeted. 

As much as I felt that, it’s also quite a problematic viewpoint to take because it inadvertently implies that a woman’s worth is based on how she looks. No one is tweeting to say “how dare Bear-McClard cheat on New York Times best-selling author Emily Ratajkowski”. And therein lies the issue.

It’s worth pointing out that neither Emily nor Sebastian have confirmed the news of their split as of yet. 

Which brings us to Tristan Thompson; one could not write a piece about men who have annoyed us, without mentioning him… as one tweeter so rightly pointed out, I ain’t never seen Tristan Thompson in the news for basketball. 

Last week, he made headlines after word got out that he and Khloé Kardashian were expecting their second child together via surrogate. 

According to reports, the pair started the surrogacy process back in November 2021 – well before Khloé knew that he had fathered a son with Maralee Nichols… while they were still dating. “Khloé and Tristan already had the baby in the works when the scandal hit. By then, Khloé was just like, ‘I’m going to be doing it by myself,’” an insider told Page Six at the time, adding that Khloé found out about the paternity lawsuit at the same time the rest of the world did. 

This isn’t the first time that Thompson has cheated on Khloé though. In 2017, shortly before the couple welcomed their first daughter, True, Thompson was seen kissing more than one woman at a hookah lounge. A short time later, he was spotted kissing Kardashian family friend, Jordyn Woods – ultimately ending Kylie Jenner’s years-long friendship with Woods. Thompson has been spotted with several unidentified mystery women since then, with cheating rumours tailing him wherever he goes. 

Khloe Kardashian: "Tristan, we have a baby on the way. I'm begging you, please stop making me look like a fool."

Tristan Thompson: pic.twitter.com/rxp9zcLxha

Initially denying that he had been involved with Maralee, Thompson eventually admitted to the whole thing, addressing the situation in a post he shared on social media. “Today, paternity test results reveal that I fathered a child with Maralee Nichols,” he wrote at the time. “I take full responsibility for my actions. Now that paternity has been established, I look forward to amicably raising our son.”

“I sincerely apologise to everyone I’ve hurt or disappointed throughout this ordeal both publicly and privately … Khloé, you don’t deserve this. You don’t deserve the heartache and humiliation I have caused you. You don’t deserve the way I have treated you over the years. My actions certainly have not lined up with the way I view you. I have the utmost respect and love for you. Regardless of what you may think. Again, I am so incredibly sorry.”

Six years ago Beyoncé almost set an entire legion of fans on husband Jay Z when she released Lemonade, an audio-visual masterpiece about infidelity, forgiveness and love… thus igniting a slew of cheating rumours. 

All those Beyoncé jay z memes are killing me ? #whocheatsonbeyonce pic.twitter.com/ZfCjQzAGsq

— Nadine Bishay (@Nadzzz24) April 28, 2016

A year later, Jay Z admitted that he had in fact cheated on Bey, confirming the rumours to The New York Times . “You have to survive. So you go into survival mode, and when you go into survival mode, what happens? You shut down all emotions. So, even with women, you gonna shut down emotionally, so you can’t connect. In my case, like, it’s deep. And then all the things happen from there: infidelity,” he told the publication. As fans suspected, Becky with the good hair was involved. 

And who can forget the Solange elevator incident? Leaked security footage showed Beyoncé’s sister Solange and Jay Z engaging in a heated argument at the 2014 Met Gala. People presumed that Beyoncé was at the heart of the disagreement, but the family never directly explained what happened… which inevitably sparked yet more divorce rumours. “Jay and Solange each assume their share of responsibility for what has occurred. They both acknowledge their role in this private matter that has played out in the public. They both have apologised to each other and we have moved forward as a united family,” they said in a statement at the time. 

“I did something that I had no business doing, and I regret it,” Jay Z later told David Letterman of the whole nasty business. “We did the hard work of going to therapy. We love each other, so we really put in the work for years. I like to believe we’re in a better place today. I’m proud of the father and the husband that I am today. Let me stick with this and come through the other side. I see how that looks.”

There is a societal predisposition to blame ourselves for how others treat us – if only we were thinner, nicer, had smaller fingernail beds… the list goes on, much of it ridiculous nonsense our brains try to use to convince us it’s our fault. And with the likes of Emily Ratajkowski, Khloé Kardashian and Beyoncé sitting atop the pretty people hierarchy, it’s hard to fathom how anyone could cheat on them… if a man couldn’t even stay loyal to them , then there’s no hope for the rest of us, right? 

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Celeste Barber (@celestebarber)

A post shared by Celeste Barber (@celestebarber)

Wrong. This way of thinking suggests that when a man cheats, it’s due to a woman’s own lack of desirability. The onus is put back on the woman. “What’s wrong with her?”, we question, while the man gets off scot-free, once again. As author Jessie Stephens recently noted when discussing the EmRata/Bear-McClard divorce rumours; Ratajkowski isn’t the point here. Her husband reportedly cheating on her is not some kind of indictment on her value, physical or otherwise. This is true of Khloé Kardashian and Beyoncé too. 

Men are so often excused for their behaviour, while their partners are villainised for sticking by them but a woman being cheated on says nothing about her and everything about the *person (*most often a man) who cheated on her.

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